Wait for It
I wrote the following in a letter to a friend, trying to help him get started with an artwork. He was waiting, not feeling he was having the right frame of mind. My advice was to not wait to be ready; but rather find the commitment first; that that is what makes one ready. Funny thing is, I have realized that that is precisely what I need to be telling myself. And so now, I tell you too.
The goals that we set for ourselves can conceal or distract from the real work, the gold. We get in our own way by wanting to be something other than what we are. Instead of waiting to “feel how I want to feel”, I would suggest accepting how you actually do feel. Embrace that. Love that. Own that.
It is in the doing that one becomes worthy. It is the commitment, the willingness, itself that opens the door on a new world and creates the new person who knows what to do. Walking the path reveals the path. There is no way to fail. Every step paves the way for the next. The path may be longer than one would at first assume, but it is no less true.
On a practical level: I suggest placing the sheet of paper on your work surface and have a seat. Have your brush or other implement in your hand. Rest your hand on the table or on your lap. Have the paint or whatever you are using out and ready. Just breathe. Wait for it. Be aware of your body, even your seat or your back or the parts of you you can’t see.
Gaze softly at the paper; avoid shooting laser beams from your eyes into it. Receive; let what lies behind the paper float to the surface; let that surface affect you: the subtle color of it, the weave of the fiber, shadows and light from the room casting shapes upon it. You might start thinking and/or seeing things; don’t deny them or focus away from them; they are indeed the gold. Let your hand wander. Look and love what you see before trying to change anything. Go in and in. Fall in love. You’ll know what to do.